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Wednesday, June 30, 2004

I've been reading so much recently. I used to read constantly, but then at the age of 14 I suddenly got a social life. Howver, I now have to choose two texts to study for my english lit. coursework. So in the last few weeks I have read:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter Thompson
The Colour Purple by Alice Walker
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
Big Fish by Daniel Wallace

and am currently reading:

A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennesse Williams (which is turning out to be totally brilliant)
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (although not for the first time)

I haven't heard particularly good things about Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf (not Klein) so I think I'll give it a miss.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

I've got completely obsessed with Big Brother, although it is mainly because of Stuart. I have this really great idea: Big Brother should take away all Stuart's clothes and ban the other housemates from lending him any. Mmmmmmm I can just see it now...

I've been thinking about the first time I slept with the boyfriend, I can't believe how bold I was. I was at his house, we kissed, for the first time, and half an hour later we were going at it on his desk. The desk with the huge window behind it, no curtains. I think I'm developing an exhibitionist streak, I've got the urge to get my boobs out and play with them. According to Big Brother's new housemate, Becki, playing with your boobs and talking to them makes them bigger, although I do quite like mine small and cute.

Friday, June 25, 2004

Wow, I just found a Pixies cover of Video Killed the Radio Star on my computer!

I wish I didn't get so hurt so easily. The boyfriend doesn't seem to ever get hurt by anything. He doesn't show it anyway. If I didn't get hurt easily, I'd be so much freer. Also, I'd be able to do fun stuff instead of spending time moping around feeling hurt about something.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Mmmm I've fallen head over heels in lust with Stuart from Big Brother. His face is as beautiful enough as it is, but when added to his gorgeous body and sooo strokeable hair...

I hate being so horny on my period as the boyfriend understandably does not want to get himself covered in blood, and so cannot satisfy my raging desire. Pah. Guess I'll just sit here twiddling my thumbs then.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Yesterday, my friend directed me to this site. It attempts to encourage healthy self image among girls and women through combating 'negative and distorted images of women in the media'. I find this really interesting, because women are constantly being bombarded with messages that they must be thin and beautiful (to a certain standard) to be successful. Any shape even slightly different to what is idealised becomes an issue, for example, anything referring to Kylie always emphasises her height, or anything about Sophie Dahl always includes the words 'buxom' or curvaceous'.

Some people believe that the only way to combat this narrow, restrictive view of what women should be like is to censor images and adverts, but to me, this is a rather militant approach. I guess it's a catch-22, because I think as little censorship should happen as possible, yet at the same time, I don't like constantly being told I should aspire to Victoria Beckham's sad, emaciated figure.

I think many girls have very low self esteem, which can come from a number of factors, but the restrictiveness of the perceived options open to them is one factor i.e. that anything deviating from Hollywood's vision of beauty is not desirable. I don't want heavy censorship to be imposed on the media, so maybe starting at the roots of the problem is the best idea, like encouraging girls to be healthy and not to fall prey to ideals which demean and devalue them. I'm going to read Beauty Myth by Naomi Klein and find out more.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

I predict belly dancing and bomber jackets will be the next big things.

Apparently there's a Hello Kitty movie coming out. A selfish part of me doesn't want it, I love Hello Kitty so much, I don't want it to become as common as Pucca or something like that. It's like when you have a new favourite band, and you love them so much, you don't want anyone else to like them too. I bought a new Hello Kitty bag today, it's a grey shoulder bag, with the outline of Hello Kitty in lilac. Only a tenner. Aaaaahhh... don't you just love a bargain?

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

My ten favourite songs right now, in no particular order:

Flyswatter - Eels
Somebody to Love – Jefferson Airplane
Gigantic – The Pixies
Soma – Smashing Pumpkins
Supermuffdiver – King Adora
Goddess on a Hiway – Mercury Rev
Back to School - Deftones
The Leaving Song Part Two – AFI
Girls Not Grey – AFI
Building – Sensefield

So there you go, a little insight into me.
I saw Universal Soldier the other night, and I hate to admit it, but there is something rather sexy about a young Jean Claude Van Damme. Even if it is an action film, it was sooo made for women. The female lead is feisty, opinionated, and doesn't take her clothes off once, whereas we see Jean Claude's tight little buttocks every 15 mintues, it seems. Not that I'm complaining...


My doctor is a friend of the family, and he knows all about my mum's drinking. He has a wife, and three children, the oldest of whom is a daughter my age, who looks like a petite cross between Charlize Theron and Cameron Diaz. I used to compare their family to ours, and think how much better they were to us. A happy family, no dark secrets, holidays in the sun, you know what I mean. However, it appears he and his wife have split up. it's funny how deceptive appearances can be, and how wrong I was.


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