Sunday, February 29, 2004

Ahhhh I've had a three and a half day weekend. Builders at college cut through a water mains so it's had to close. Totally gutted... not. It's been pretty cool.

Although I sometimes get the odd spot, I've never suffered from acne, something for I am very grateful. I've been reading this, which is the diary of a 21 year old taking Roaccutane, a drug which has been controversial for its possible unpleasant side effects. It's a new blog, but interesting.

I've also been reading Violet Blue. I'm trying to find out more about porn. You see, I want to watch some. The only porn I've ever seen was ten minutes of tacky lesbian porn on Sky. The problem is, I can't decide whether I want to watch cheesey, filthy, sleazy moustache-type porn or the more erotic, artistic stuff made by female directors. You'd think I'd choose the latter, but the cheesey stuff looks so funny.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

If you haven't read Magnetic Kid Liv's blog (see left) go do so now. New design, and loads more updates. Reading her is like being in a blurry haze of colour and people, dashed with pink glitter. I love it. I want colour, I want glitter, I want to feel a bit more alive. I'm bored of this winter sluggishness, I want newness and brightness. Dullness is depressing me. I wonder how other people see me. Is it a healthy thing to think about? I want to be vibrant and chatty and confident, but I don't think I am. Every week, it seems, I resolve to change; yet I never quite seem to manage it.
Wow, thanks to everyone who's offered advice. All very helpful comments, and hopefully they may soon get results. We had another go last night, and it nearly worked, so I guess things are looking up. Mmmmm, wish I was having another go right now...

Monday, February 23, 2004

Right then. Time to get personal, I think.

Why do I never come during sex? It's not a question of the man coming too soon (at least it certainly isn't now) So why doesn't it happen? Am I not turned on enough, or is it just a matter of biology? I try to not to worry about it, because worrying is obviously just going to make it worse. It's just a bit annoying. If anyone has any input on this, I'd be really grateful, thanks.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Found a new blog to read - Rentboy Diaries. I do like my sex blogging right now. He likes The Distillers too!
I wish my brain went faster. I spent today with someone whose mind races along so fast it's hard to keep up. It makes me feel boring, but never bored. My mind feels gunky at the moment. Who was it who said they wanted to remove the top of their skull, take their brain out and give it a good cleaning in the sink? Bridget Jones? Rosie Richardson of Cause Celeb fame? I can't remember.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Well then, did anyone get anything yesterday? I got an email card... from my ex-boyfriend's sister's ex boyfriend by about 3 weeks. The thing is, I know he's only trying to get revenge on her by sleazing on me. Poor lad, I think he's just a bit cut up by it all.

So, Valentine's Day. What do I think of it? I'm not sure. On the one hand, it's a nice sentiment, but then, it seems that people are under a huge amount of pressure to buy the 'right' gift and spend the most amount of money. That's not how an expression of love should be.

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Sorry I haven't updated in a week, I've not really known what to write. Well then, what's been going on in my life this week? Not a lot. It's half term now, and I will find something to write about soon.

Friday, February 06, 2004

Ha! Screw that! One of my friends today mentioned something about a girl called Ruth - "I bet she'll be going out with him in two weeks". Him being the pretty guy, of course. Plenty more fish in the sea, except the sea is polluted.

I have Somebody to Love by Jefferson Airplane stuck in my head. So true, because I really do need someone to love. I don't know what's wrong with me. Didn't the Spice Girls teach me anything? I should be happy enough without a man, but obviously, I'm not.

Monday, February 02, 2004

I have an urge to take all my clothes off. Damn it, I'm frustrated. All I can think about is men with long hair. I keep seeing the hot guy at college and it's so hard to resist throwing myself at him and running my hands through his hair, and feeling his moustache scratching my face whilst wrapping my legs around him. I'm off for a lie-down...

Sunday, February 01, 2004

One of my friends has just set off on a three month long trip around the world, first to America, then Africa (I think) then Australia, and many other places in between. I hope she has a wonderful time, but I can't help feeling ever so slightly insanely jealous. We all went out on Friday night as it was her last night, and she was talking about crochet bikinis, and beaches.

The hair situation: less Spike - more Anthea Turner. I'm unsure as to who I hate more: my hairdresser or Anthea Turner. Anyway, it's only hair, it grows back. It's not like she cut my arm off (although I wouldn't put it past her) You see, I have a fetish about hair. Not just my own, it's hair on men that really gets me going. I like head hair, leg hair, chest hair, facial hair, all hair, and it must be dark and thick. Oooooh I need a man. One who is prepared to overlook the fact that I will be wearing a hat for the next four months.

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